In the fall of last year I found myself in quite the pickle. I was having some crippling mental issues that lead me to seek more intense help. I was inpatient at Butler ( a mental health hospital) for a week (story to follow). It got me out of my funk when they changed my medication and helped me through what was the most horrible time of my life.
After being inpatient I took part in an outpatient CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) program. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a psychological intervention that aims to improve mental health. CBT focuses on challenging and changing unhelpful cognitive distortions and behaviors that we may have. It helps to improve emotional regulation and helps create coping skills. It was a six hour day of classes designed to help put “tools in your toolbox”. Trust me, it works. Many things that I will be writing about I have learned through this program.
An outpatient program is one that allows you to learn and heal with professional therapists during the day and then you get to go home in the afternoon. It’s pretty much like school, but instead of learning boring things like math and history you learn how to better yourself. There are blocks of classes that you choose at the beginning of that day. At Butler there were three classrooms so you are constantly moving around and getting a change of scenery every hour or so. It is a really safe place to ask questions and re-train your mind. You meet with a therapist one on one daily and also have a physiatrist who is in charge of your medication. I met with my prescriber at the beginning and at the end of my program. You can always ask to speak with them more if needed. All of these people work closely together to give you a personal team.
Being in outpatient programs has helped me so much and I use the tools that I learned there at least once a week. Here are some tricks to the trade that I have found to make it easier to get through it:
Take it seriously.
You have found yourself here for a reason. Use every minute to make yourself better. You may have ups and downs and this is the place to ask questions and find out why you’re feeling what you are.
Take notes!
I am a note taker by nature so I bought a binder and a notebook and took notes in every class. This was the best thing I could have done because now I pretty much have my own how-to book if I ever find myself needing a refresher.
Allow yourself to dig deep!
You are safe. These professionals have seen and heard everything. They know how to help you. If you keep it bottled up and are afraid to explain what you are feeling then you will never get better. Easier said than done, I know. Its scary, man. Having a mental illness is sometimes terrifying and overwhelming. Try your best to open up because you won’t get better as quickly if you don’t. If you can’t seem to get the words our during your time with your therapist, try writing it down when you go home and presenting your written words. Allow yourself to explore your mind.
Trust the system!
It can work. I promise. You just have to believe that you can get better. Sometimes that thought is fleeting. I remember feeling like I could get through it one minute and then feeling hopeless the next. Try holding on to those positive thoughts. Write them down if you need to. Speak them aloud as a mantra if it helps. You. Can. Get. Better. You don’t have to feel this way forever.
Talk to your peers!
When you are ready and feel comfortable in your surroundings I think that it is a good idea to talk to people who are going through similar things. I mean, we’re all there because we went a little nutty, right? There are people there who may be struggling a little more than you are and people who are already on the up and up. Feeling like your not alone in your own struggle can make you feel better. Plus then you’ll have someone to have lunch with.
I cherished every day of my outpatient program. I felt better each day when I left. I became a different and better person because of it. I grew, I learned and I accepted. I felt a sense of accomplishment when it was through. It may have been a little scary when I first started but I reminded myself each day that I could do it and I couldn’t be more proud of myself that I did.
A Bowl of Oatmeal 